This was a post I made on a forum recently when the question was asked - "What do stay at home moms DO all day if you aren't going out all the time?"

Let's see...get the kids breakfast and plunk my a$$ down at the computer for a bit to wake up. Feed and water my idiot dog and take him outside thirty times, even though he's just going to pee on the floor anyways. Call my friend, chat while cleaning kitchen. Water dog, take out ten times, while making lunch for kids. Take Bri to school. Yell at dog for peeing during the half hour I was out of the house even though I just took him out before we left. Put Serena down for her nap, make my lunch put in laundry, possibly fold laundry, eat lunch. Sew for about an hour. Take dog out, get laundry, get kid up from nap. Go pick up Bri from school. Get kids a snack, put on Magic School Bus. Hear complaints about how this wasn't the snack they wanted, Serena is not sharing, Serena is stuffing the goldfish in her pants. Water and feed dog, take out fifteen times. Unload dishwasher, start dinner. Husband comes home complains kitchen is a mess throw knife at him. Kids and dog jump all over husband while making unholy racket. Dog pees on floor, everyone yells at dog. Serve dinner, get drinks for kids, lift one kid over the baby gate so she can go pee, get more meat for kid, get dessert for kids, eat cold dinner. Kids run around living room like freakazoids, beg to play gamecube. Play game cube, tell kid to quit being a sore loser, turn off gamecube because said kid is having a temper tantrum because she lost, even though she won the preceeding three games, ignore screaming crying hysterical fit that always escalates to "you never let me do anything, waah!" and try not to crack up. Haul kids upstairs to bathtub. Argue over who wants bubbles, who doesn't want bubbles, who wants rubber ducks and who wants which cup. Resist urge to get the dog and drown them all. And maybe the husband too, who is in some other room "renovating" very very slowly. Every day. Since November. Attempt to wash hair amidst screaming about burning eye pain since "tear free" = "full of acid" in child speak. Tell them to get out of tub. Listen to screaming about not wanting to get out of tub. Unplug tub, pull wrinkly two year old off of the bottom. Brush hair, more screaming, pulling it all out by the roots, obviously. Wrestle two year old to the floor to brush teeth. Chase naked toddler down the hallway. Somehow manage to diaper the butt and not the head and ignore requests to wear barettes to bed. Read toddler three books, hug and kiss four times, hope for no screaming. Read five year old a book, they are getting awfully long these days. Water and take dog out fourteen times, not that it mattered, because he peed all over while you were upstairs bathing children.

Occasionally, throw in an hour or two of chasing toddler at park. Fearless toddler who does not understand that stepping directly off of 6 foot high playground equipment is not a good idea. Fearless toddler who thinks she is bigger than she is and can climb whatever is handy.

The thought of wrangling children around the mall for a few hours by myself makes me contemplate drowning myself in the bathtub.

It has been suggested that I attempt to humourously blog more often. And being nearly 30 weeks pregnant, why not try now? It's not like I'm busy or anything. Not at all. I'll squeeze in blogging between the dog peeing on the floor and Magic School Bus.